Why It's Okay To Use Your "Outside Voice" Instead of Your "Inside Voice" Sometimes.

Hello all! It's been a good month since my last blog update, but it's because I'm busier than I ever expected, wow! Between Training and Assessment classes, Basic Leadership classes, (both all day, everyday- but so so good!), the homework between the two, planning for small groups and worship and intercession times, and getting everything ready for the students to get here (they start arriving this weekend, and our school starts next week!), I'm only now finding a bit of time to sit down and put my thoughts into words on here! But because so much has been going on in my life, God has been keeping up with that pattern as well (as He tends to do), and has been showing me SO much! And after skimming through my journal entries over the past month (oh boy, there's lots), I feel led to share one revelation in particular that God brought me to with you today.......

“It’s who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That’s the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship." -John 4:23

       If you know me at all, you know that I am quite a loud person. And I tend to be a bit outspoken. And I often find myself being ridiculously silly, as well as quite obnoxious and over the top at times. I rarely express myself in small, quiet ways to say the least. I know this about myself and I have known this my entire life. However, there are times when I review myself in certain situations and think, "Why did I do/say that?!" or "They probably think I'm so obnoxious because I just did that..." Times when I'm the loudest one in a group, or laughing at my own jokes (with no one laughing along- which I find to be the case a lot of times!). It's times like these when quite frankly, I annoy myself. So after times like these, I find myself setting boundaries for my personality. Boundaries like: "From now on, just keep your mouth shut until you're spoken to, Paige" or "INSIDE VOICE, PAIGE!" or even "Okay, I am GOING to be the graceful, soft-spoken girl this time!". Boundaries that are so far from my actual personality.

       But it was this week that I realized the following: God is a BIG God. Okay, we all know this. Look around at the scape of the universe, and it's obvious. So obvious in fact, a lot of us have learned this in Sunday School every Sunday morning for our entire lives. But He really is a big God, in every way. And that includes His character- and His personality. It says in Genesis 1:26 that God made us in HIS own image, to be like Him. And He is big. So if there are aspects of our personality that come through in big ways, can we not assume that if they line up with His Word and who He is, that we are merely walking out in His image as He created us to? If these things are true, can I not perhaps make the assumption that He has given me a big personality as a reflection of an aspect of His own image? His big image, which He possesses because He is a big God?

       Perhaps I'm not a quiet, graceful, soft-spoken woman that I imagine in my head to be that "ideal" woman of God. Perhaps I'm not always well composed or subdued. (In fact, “subdued” may be the exact opposite of a good majority of my personality traits) But who am I to determine what the work of God's hands should look like and how it should function? Have I forgotten how MASSIVE God is? And have I forgotten that I was made in His massive image? If these things are true, I don't have to be embarrassed of my rambunctiousness. I don't have to try my hardest to be someone that I wasn’t created to be. If these things are true, I can walk out in the woman that God specifically created me to be, and with confidence. And if I can walk confidently as the woman that God specifically created me to be, I know that my students will be more apt to do the same. It’s funny how that leadership thing works..

       At the end of the day, you can never please everyone. But the beauty of a relationship with God is that all that matters is that you please Him. And when you walk out in the character and personality traits that He has specifically created within you, you will do just that.

       I'd like to challenge you today to truly embrace who God has made you to be. Embrace your big traits- whether you're loud and ridiculous like me, or whether you're extremely full of grace and composure. Put down your insecurities, find the character traits that reflect God within yourself. And if those traits happen to be presented on a larger scale than others, don't let the enemy strip you of that blessing! Recognize the honor of the fact that God has entrusted you with a bigger side of Himself. Worship Him in truth- as you are, being simply and honestly yourself. He has let you represent Him in a big way. And He will best use you in that way.

Blessings ya'll,

Paige

In Training and Assessments classes (TAA). Because the school we're staffing is accredited, we must go through a certified training course.

Intercession and worship time on the YWAM base.

We spent the weekend in Oakey, Australia and spoke to the churches there about a ministry YWAM Brisbane is heading up called the Pass It On Tour. [http://www.gopassiton.org/] 

(We also drank lots of hot tea and wore every layer of clothing we brought with us- um, Australian winters are a lot colder than you'd expect!)

Our home for the night in Oakey.

Redcliffe, Australia

Spent the day bonding with my staff team in Redcliffe :) Seriously SO blessed to be on a team with them all!

Wholeheartedly.

Sunset in Redcliffe

How you can be praying:

• God has been showing me so much lately, and I would love prayer for even further revelation and clarity!
• Our school starts next week, so please be praying for our students as they arrive here- for peace and protection and against any lies or doubts the enemy may throw at them once they get here and perhaps feel out of their comfort zone. Please also pray for wisdom as my staff team and I begin to lead.
• Time management! I have so many things on my to do list and schedule right now, it can be a bit overwhelming at times. Please pray that I would have extra focus, the energy I need to accomplish it all, the peace of God that it will get accomplished, and that I would also see God and get to know Him better even in the little things and within all the busyness!
• Finances. I still don't have all the money I will need for my time here, but because I know God is a Provider, I know that it will come at just the right time :) 

Once again, I cannot thank you enough for your prayers and support. It's so uplifting to know that I have a support system behind me, even when I'm on the opposite side of the world!

What Jesus Has To Do With Sports

 “You must be holy because I am holy.” - 1 Peter 1:16

         I played a sport today for the first time in years. And I didn't like it.
         I just don't like sports- in fact, I avoid them at all costs. But as my sporty friends here encouraged me and pressured me into joining in the "fun", I couldn't help but give in. But I just couldn't bring myself to enjoy even a moment of it! I could feel a deeper root buried beneath the issue though.... So I asked God why. And in return, He provided a memory that had completely and totally escaped my mind....
         8th grade volleyball camp. I showed up to this sports summer camp hoping to potentially find my "knack", but instead I found myself among loads of girls who had been in club volleyball since birth. Needless to say, I wasn't anywhere near their level. The specific memory the Lord brought to mind was when I missed a dive for the ball and one girl in particular called me out and criticized me, and ultimately left me feeling stupid and incapable. I felt inadequate and quite small as I recognized the fact that I would never be able to be as good as these girls who had been intensely playing the sport since they were 4 years old. And it was then that I must have subconsciously put up a wall and made the decision that I simply hate sports and just cannot play. It was one comment that I had forgotten completely about until today- not even a life-altering comment by any means- that actually had been holding a secret spot in my heart, and a deep one too.
       I know what you're thinking- what does a distaste for sports have anything to do with God? So she doesn't like sports- big deal. At first, I thought that exact same thing. But then God opened my eyes to the bigger issue: Sometimes it's the small and stupid things in our lives that hold us back from surrendering our all to the Lord and truly making Him Lord of our lives.
       When you get rid of the junk and insecurities and walls in your heart- even the small and seemingly meaningless ones- you are making more room for God. Walls of any kind do not belong in a heart that is given completely to the Lord. 1 Peter 1:16 says that we are to be holy because He is holy, and if there is any left over baggage in our hearts that we aren't willing to let the Lord deal with, how can that holiness ever be achieved?
       I believe that during this season I am going to be faced with doing things that are completely out of my character, whether it be something small like playing sports or something much bigger, and I will need to face them head on. Because when you are faithful in the small things, God is faithful in the big ones. By stepping out in the things you feel the least secure about, you are giving the Lord so much more power in your life. After all, Jesus said in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” That means surrendering even the smallest walls in our hearts and letting go of the insecurities we barely even recognize, even when it's the most uncomfortable thing in the world. And in the words of Esther, "If I perish, I perish."
       I'd like to encourage you to sit down with God today and ask Him to search your heart. Ask Him to show you the small and stupid things that are keeping you from Him. And don't let the enemy make you feel stupid about being spiritual about such seemingly "meaningless" things. The Lord, who loves you so much, wants all of you. Every bit. Even the littlest parts. Allow Him to tear down your small, hidden walls, and walk in His freedom today.

Be blessed, ya'll.
Paige

How you can be praying:

• We start Training and Assessments for leadership training this week, and it will be a very busy time with classes all day everyday and a large amount of homework. Please pray that the Lord would give me energy and focus this week.
• "Don't look to the right or to the left, but keep your eyes on Me." This is something the Lord has been speaking to me since before I left for Australia, and it is something I pray about often. Please pray that I would indeed keep my eyes on Him and wouldn't be distracted from His purpose and calling by the circumstances around me.
• Health, once again! Like I said last time, living in a community always has risks of something going around. And that includes LICE! Getting sick and having a head full of lice isn't the end of the world, but it definitely takes away and holds you back from all the things going on here. 

I really cannot thank you enough for all your prayers and support!

How beautiful are the feet of messengers.....

  A 15 hour flight, a few days of dreadful jetlag, and a week of readjusting later, I can officially call Brisbane, Australia my new home for the next 18+ months! Thank you so much for your prayers during my travel and in my readjusting. This will be the blog that I use to update my dear friends, loved ones, and supporters during this sweet season the Lord has brought me to. SO without further adieu, here's the first of many updates, friends!:

“But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, “How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!”  -Romans 10:14-15

       Today as I was reading my Bible and trying to get to know my Jesus better, I happened to flip to that ever so intimidating and sometimes seemingly “darker” book of the Word: Revelation. But instead of feeling intimidated about the coming times or worrying about the salvation of my soul and others’, as I’ve found myself doing at times when reading this book, I was instead reminded of my purpose for this season; why I’m sitting here at the YWAM base in Brisbane, Australia, just 3 days away from beginning staff training. As I read chapter 3:6-13 (Here’s a link to that in case you’d like to read along, but don’t feel like getting up to grab your Bible: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation%203:6-13&version=NLT), about Jesus’s words of those who obey Him and don’t deny Him, and about “those who belong to Satan’s synagogue”, I actually found myself becoming not intimidated, but rather excited: SO excited that I know the Truth, and I know it in time! 

Verse 11 says plain and clear “I am coming soon.” If Jesus said this ages ago, I can’t even fathom just how soon His coming is TODAY. Not long ago, I was walking in the opposite direction of the Lord. But now I am saved, and as a result, when He returns, I will sit with my Savior, King, and Friend up in Heaven. But how close I was to not having this privilege just amazes me! What if I hadn’t found out this Truth in time? What if I had missed out on His beautiful gift of eternal life, simply because I didn’t know of the true DEPTH of this relationship with Him- because no one ever really explained it to me? 

I am so blessed to know this gift now; to know His infinite love and to have experienced it. And because I have felt so blessed in that, I really can’t even bear the thought of sitting idly by as others blindly walk the path I once did, completely oblivious to just how fulfilling this great love actually is, merely because no one ever told them about it or showed them what it was like. How blessed I feel to get to tell others about this great love, this great relationship, this great Savior before our time on this earth runs out! 

People are called to all sorts of different places in life to do all sorts of different things. There are so many different spiritual gifts and callings, but I am realizing more and more every day just how much missions is what I am called to. There is something within me that feels a responsibility to make sure people are aware of what they are missing out on, to make sure they at least hear of this potential relationship so that when that final day comes, they can’t say they didn’t know otherwise or that no one ever told them. The Lord truly does save souls, and I feel so strongly that it is my responsibility, not only as a Christian, but as a missionary, to let Him use me as a tool in that, and my heart gets so excited about this fact!

And THAT is why I am here; that is the vision- to be apart of providing others with the opportunity to experience the same great love I’ve gotten to experience, to help others know the Lord in a deeper way than they may have even thought possible, and to carry out the responsibility the Lord has given me to spread His Good News before our time runs out. As I chew on all of this, I can’t help but be reminded of the verses from Romans 10:14-15 which I shared at the top of this post. The Lord has given me the feet of a messenger as I walk out in this calling and responsibility. That is the vision the Lord has given me for my time here at YWAM, and I thank you so much for your prayers and support that help me fulfill that very calling and responsibility the Lord has placed on my life. God is good, ya’ll. Keep praising Him, keep seeking His face. Be blessed.

Paige

Reuniting with my friends from DTS who are back as well, over McDonald's (They call it "Maccas" here) 30 cent cones!

The view from my bedroom window.

 First order of business: GOLD FISH SHOPPING!

Meet my newest little missionary companion: Oliver the goldfish.

[How you can be praying:

• For physical health and restoration (living in a community environment, there are always  bugs going around, and I'm still dealing with jetlag, ugh!)

• That God would prepare my heart even more so to be a leader during this time before the MAD (Music, Art, and Dance) school that I'm staffing starts.

• Lately I have been dealing with some spiritual warfare and have had a hard time remembering God's perfect love for me- the love that I don't have to work for or have my act together for. Please pray that I would experience God's love fully and that the enemy would not have a foothold in my life.

•  Finances. (While I'm set for now, I still haven't reached my goal yet) Please pray that the Lord would open peoples' hearts to give, especially as I cannot have a job while here.

• That my readjusting to life here would continue to be a smooth and easy process.]

Thank you from the very bottom of my heart!