Audrey Hepburn once said “I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls”. And you know how everyone loves a nice quote from a good Classic. In fact many of us seem to have the habit of taking those nice classic quotes to heart simply because of the timeless mouths they came out of. But when I really think about this quote, which I’m sure Mrs. Hepburn meant only to inspire, I’m left wondering: what about the beauty in the unhappy girls? What about the ones who have been wounded, the ones who feel as if they are living in the midst of a mess? What about the beauty within the broken ones?
I’ve had the privilege, as some might call it, of experiencing brokenness in this past season of my life. While I will not compare my state of brokenness with anyone elses’ as I know that mine hardly casts a shadow compared to the real tragedy that others experience on a daily basis, I have experienced a season, which to me, has seemed quite dark at times and left me feeling as if my life was simply strewn in many pieces across my floor, without having any knowledge of how to go about picking them up and putting them back together.
For me, this was not okay. This was not how Christians were supposed to feel in my mind. Women of God are supposed to be so full of great joy within the hardships, and have that cheerful disposition even when their heart is completely downtrodden and then all will be okay, amen? But months later, after failing many times to superficially hold myself together and fix things on my own, I have learned something about the truth of brokenness.
“Then Mary took a twelve-ounce jar of expensive perfume made from essence of nard, and she anointed Jesus’ feet with it, wiping his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance.” John 12:3.
The perfume that Mary annointed Jesus’ feet with on this lovely evening was a very costly perfume said to have been held within an alabaster jar. In this time period, this perfume was given to a daughter by her Jewish parents before she was married. On the night of her wedding, she was to pour the perfume out onto her husband's feet as a statement of absolute love and devotion. And what a beautiful picture of those two things that is. However, the only way to pour this beautiful and priceless fragrance was to break open the bottle. It could only be used once, thus signifying it’s preciousness.
The only way to pour this beautiful and priceless fragrance was to break open the bottle. Brokenness was required for this beautiful offering to be given. It was amongst the broken and shattered pieces of this fragile and priceless alabaster jar that Jesus found a most beautiful offering that pleased His heart so much. I have found in this season of brokenness that it isn’t a glued together jar that Jesus is looking for. He sees through the failed attempts at self-reached wholeness. I’ve found that sometimes the most beautiful thing you can offer your Lord is all that you have. And sometimes that looks like every piece of yourself broken and shattered on the floor; a completely empty and broken vessel, but one who’s last drops have been placed upon Christ’s feet as a beautiful offering. It is in this revelation that I must disagree with the ever-classic Mrs. Hepburn. While happy girls indeed are very beautiful, I have personally found that the most beautiful you could ever be is sometimes in fact when you are quite broken. But at the feet of Jesus, pouring out all that you have left.
